Thursday, December 29, 2011

Two different people

We met and we move aways...and we knowsituation will be much much different than it was the moment of the dreams, but its certainly gives us courage and smile to face the world for better tomorrow.

 When we started the journey to come and met on that december evening few years ago, a total stranger, a unknown identitiy, We never knew it will become a unseparatable part of our memory. Today your words, and your thoughts have made me realise i was wrong somewhere for not to tell you what i felt for you.

दूर कुठेतरी
शांत समुद्रकिनारी ...
कुशीत तुझ्या मी
अन गुंफलेले हातात हात...
थोडेसं लाटांसोबत अन
थोडेसं एकमेकांसोबत खेळून ...
मावळत्या सूर्याच्या साक्षीने ...
एकमेकांकडे पाहत
सारया जगाला आज विसरून जावू ...
मिठीत एकमेकांच्या ...
चल ना रे सख्या
आज आपण विरघळून जावू ...

You know, that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and that person. And you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this gift. And you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will go away all at the same time

There is a place You can touch a woman or man That will drive them crazy.and that place is heart, you have made me crazy.. and i am thankful to you for that.. ...I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds.
There isn't another soul on this planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there.. between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me. There is strange words, but they are, It's not like love at first sight really. It's more like...gravity moves. When i see you, suddenly it's not the earth holding me here anymore. you does. And nothing matters more than you. And i would do anything for you, be anything for you.. I become whatever you needs me to be, whether that's a protector, or a friend or  anything else you wish me to be.

I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because i know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you most when i lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life .

I tried to convince myself I didn't want you anymore.

I just can't let go.

I don't want to see you move on, but I'm not doing much about it either.

We're two different people and I wish it would stop, because I'm living to die and dieing to live, but it doesnt mean a thing to me, until I have you. I felt so good when I was with you, you made me feel like the world; to hear i was your favorite and the best you ever had. You were not ashamed and would hold my hand anywhere. We'd talk for hours. felt like heaven when I was with you; and now that you're gone im hurting like hell. I miss you so much, and I wish you were here, but I made the wrong choice and its too late, too many mistakes had been made and i lost you, forever -- Honestly, I dont even know wat really happened. When i think abt it, all i remember is that i tried and i tried really hard. But u din seem happy anymore no matter how hard i tried. So i called it quits. All i have ever wanted is ur mesmerizing smile lighting up my life. And i was just not able to feel that. Sorry, if ever i have hurt you. But the only thing that i wish for now is ur happiness. If ever you realize that ur happiness is with me then ur always welcome. I am and i will always be here for u. But even if u happen to find it somewhere else, rest assured I'll be the happiest for u.

એક દી’ એમણે પોતે જાતે કહ્યું,
‘સુનિલ’ આજે જરા મારુ વર્ણન કરો.
મારા વિશે જરા થોડા રૂપક કહો,
થોડી ઉપમાઓનું આજ સર્જન કરો.
કેવી હાલત ભલા થઇ હશે એ સમયે,
એ તો દિલ વાળા જે હોય કલ્પી શકે,
જેણે બાંધ્યો હો રૂપાળો રિશ્તો કદી,
એ જ સમજી શકે, એ જ જાણી શકે.
કોક બીજાની હોતે જો આ માંગણી,
હું’ય દિલ ખોલીને આજ વર્ણન કરત.
આ સભા દાદ દઇને દઇને થાકી જતે,
એવા સાહિત્યનું આજ સર્જન કરત.
પણ પ્રણેતા હો રૂપકના જેઓ ભલા
એ જ રૂપક જો ચાહે તો હું શું કરું ?
જેની પાસેથી ઉપમાઓ તાલીમ લે,
એ જ ઉપમાઓ માંગે તો હું શું કરું ?
તે છતાં મે કહ્યું, મારે કહેવું પડ્યું,
છો રૂપાળા તમે, ખૂબ સારા તમે,
આંખ બહુ મસ્ત છે, ચાલ બહુ ખૂબ છે,
અંગે અંગે છો નખશીખ પ્યારા તમે.
કેવી સીધીને સાદી હતી વાત આ,
કેવા ભોળા હતા તેઓ ઝૂમી ગયા.
બોલ્યા કેવા મજાના છો શાયર તમે,
કેવુ સારું ને મનગમતું બોલી ગયા.

Here, the poem which I put describes the best feeling of the description of beauty. It says, today for the first time you only told me to describe yourself… and said, “Sunil please describe me today, tell me something about my beauty and my creations”… you will never imagine my condition at that time, people who has heart can only understand how much difficult it was to describe the beauty of beauty itself? If it could have someone else, I could have described like no one could have ever listened and everyone around will be surprised to listen…but how can I praise someone who itself is definition of eternal beauty. Looks and charms take training from you, and that person only asks me describe her charm than how can I? Still I had to say, you are too pretty, eyes are beautiful, walk is too elegant, and top to bottom you are definition of beauty.. How simple and straight it was, and how innocent you were… and told me, “Sunil, how good you are, how good you said, it touched straight to heart”

Isn’t is beautiful?? Same situation can arise to me when you will tell me to describe your beauty… I won’t be able to do it as you are an beauty itself….

I guess i can write a full book on the emotions of time we had. I can write a hell lot of big big book on it but in short, it was a lifewhich made me realise that the feeling which i have given you is not in corner of your heart but its all in you. It just that i am fool to not to notice some time.. please forgive me for that..

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

what society will think....

Its a beautiful afternoon in the mumbai and some pretty songs playing in the ears.. and there is comes the memory of the person who made you smile... and now you get moisture on the memory of those laughs...

There are some pretty good days around... The moment we brought to this world, rules are associated with each and everything, do things this way... if you do this than what others will think.. you cant talk this way... you cant go and get your self wet in rain... dont play in mud... think what others will think of your dress... think what society will think....

Who the f**k is surrounding to enforce things on us? I agree there is a need to do have a society and there is need to rule book. But is this rule book to be followed for sake of self scarifice?

I remember beautiful scene(s) from so many movies, let me talk of movie "Accepted", where a person doesnt get admission in the college and that young mind is so afraid of so called society, parents expectaion that he does what he should not and end up being doing what he desired... and that what i call the icing on the cake when burden of what society will think, makes you do unexpected and that too in favour...

so that was something that bought good in the person's life. But what if it was otherwise? My mom ,always wanted to study and finish graduation and society or mind set of her family, forced her to get married when she was just 18. Thats when she decided she will make her child study as far as they want.. why we decide something when it does wrong with us? Why cant we decide otherwise? When I speak to my mom, she says, she wanted to study but her father wont let her do, because her brother had to go to school (guys it really happend with my mom) and than she thought to support her kids to school. I am really sad to think that what society makes us do. They are here for good, to give us hope and to stand by us and not here to make us do what they believe in.

So thats what about study and expectaions. Did we ever thoughts of dreams?Again i remember incident of some one i know, That person was always believed he can be a good teacher and a good photographer.. and he always dreamed to do that... But sadly, he was not able to do that. He was eldest in the family, got the responsibilty so early and ended up going to office... earning... sacrificing the dreams and finally he even dont know what has become of him. I think its really tough to be eldest in the family, you are being looked as someone to follow foot steps designed for you, and not allowed to walk the path of your own. There are few who manage to do that.. but rest all has to let that hope die in the corner of the mind.. rest all has to bury that dreams, Why??? same reason, what society will think....

Most hurting part out of this society comes, when you are no longer your self. The surrounding you got is living in still belief that society stand by you.. but as long as i remeber, they come to picture only when you are able to give something to them.. something materialistic. If i want to live by my dreams, and i become a painter, atleast my society will say, that person? with brush and pencil, he cant even feed himself, how he can feed your daughter? I am just talking of my society here so please people dont see me judging your world or your society.

Another twist to this is, we live in the world where we unknowingly start believing all this. We get good education, we get good job and we even earn good. But shattering of our hopes, unfulfilled destinies let us believe that we have to do what socity want us to do. We start living life of a donkey, we let our hopes die and our dreams shatter, because society wants it. We think, we will not let that happen to our siblings, or our kids, BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT US? is that life we deserved from society and same question haunts back, why cant we do something for ourselves? When we cant help ourselves, how we expect to help our siblings?????

Monday, September 5, 2011


Human relation? A very complicalted question isn't it? You love someone, someone love someone else and cycle never gets completed. But what i feel what is more important to a relation is not only how your share your physical bond but more important is how you share your communicating bond. Lets say, a person is livin with a girl, kind of livin relation. What we get out of this relation, what bond exist here? Physical? Mental? If those two can share, words more often than the relation they have is most blossing relation of world. I read somewhere that in relation most important factor is how you communicate. Once you get old, wrinkles on face appears, eyes see less, ears listen less, only bond keeps you goin is how well you can understand silence, how well you can share words, n how well you can communicate. If you are able to speak, you have best of the love in your life. A love which speak for itself in words, in silence, a bond which is shared by no boundaries.

Life wasn't the same, when you were not there
Everyone was around but I used to be solitaire
You came;along came all the happiness that set me free
Now I know what I wanted;what was missing in me....

I love you the way you are
Just give me a chance to make a start
I'll be there for you;that's how I see
All I can say, You are the only one for me....

You are miles away, still I love you this way
But I feel you are with me;in my every day
I love you with all my heart;all my sincerity
Don't know what lies ahead, togetherness or disparity....

There are many things in this world which catches your eyes, or you find interst in. But there are very few moments, things or person in life which stays in you, not with you, and those are the person who makes a difference to you. I am not sure who i am or what i am for you but You know, 'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'

Sunday, September 4, 2011

In love, pain is a blessing

Love is painful, but the pain is certainly a blessing. Love is painful because love brings growth. Love demands, transforms and is painful because love gives you a new birth. Love brings your heart into relationship -- and when the heart is in relationship there is always pain. If you avoid the pain, you will miss all pleasures of life. With love you become human; you stand erect on earth. With love you are vertical With love are problems. But with problems is growth -- the greater the problem, the greater the opportunity.

More and more pain, too. That's why many people never love -- it is so painful. They never become vertical. Love never shatters you completely. It simply shatters you a little, a little bit It shatters the crust of your ego, but the centre of the ego remains intact. Then there is a deeper pain, deeper than love, and that is of prayer -- it shatters you utterly It is death. When you have learnt how to love, and you have learnt that the pain that love brings is a blessing in disguise, it is beautiful, then you become able and you take another step -- that step is prayer.

All lovers feel a little miserable. They would like to disappear completely, but it is not possible in human relationships. Human relationship is limited. But one learns from it, that there is a possibility: if it can happen so much in a human relationship, how much more can happen in a relationship with the Divine? Love makes you ready to take the final jump, the quantum leap. That's what I call prayer, or you can call it meditation. You have to disappear for existence to be. Love is a training ground, a school, to learn first lessons -- of the beauty, of the blessing and benediction of disappearance; to learn that pain is blessed.

So when you are in love, or when love arises, cooperate with it, don't try resisting. People come to a compromise. The basic problem that I have been looking at is that lovers by and by come to a compromise. The compromise is: You don't hurt me, I will not hurt you. That's what marriage is. Then people become settled. They become so afraid of pain that they say, "Don't hurt me and I will not hurt you." But then when pain disappears, love also disappears. They exist together. When you are in love, love hurts.

It hurts terribly. But never resist, never create any barrier for pain. Allow it. And by and by, you will see that it was a wrong interpretation. It is not really pain. It is just that something is going so deep in you that you interpret it like a pain. You don't know anything else. You are only aware of pain in your past life, in your past experience. Whenever something penetrates deep, you interpret it as pain. Don't use the word 'pain'. When love and love's arrow goes deep into your heart, close your eyes and don't use words -- just see what it is, and you will never see it is pain.

Journey back....

I am sure, i was away for pretty long long time where i even dont remember when i had pen down last? I was suprised to see its almost a year plus when i posted last. I had got 30000+ visiters when i was regular, and it was great feeling to have people visiting your blog. Well first i do apologise to friend who wanted me to write and i was not able to. It takes a lot to write and believe me i was not in my flow of the writing. I was watching tv today afternoon, and saw a trailer of the movie, "Rockstar", it said, if you want to be a good singer, you need a broken heart (atleast something like that).

Well i dont know about songs, but certainly for writing you do need a inspiration, a motivation and a figure in mind, else i dont think its possible to write. I am here putting my own opinion though, but it do need a heart to write, heart in right place, and ofcourse a reason to write.

That's what life is all about. You cant control with whom you fall in love. Or with whom you feel comfortable. Its not in your hands but its done automatically. Consider it like, you are walking on the street and you saw a dress and you liked it. You didn't told your mind, you liked it. But your heart and mind told you that you like it. So whom to like and whom not to like, whom to feel comfortable, with whom to share feeling is not in your hands but infect controlled by your inner powers.

But once you do it and you think something has gone wrong.. don't worry. It bought you a wonderful lesson. As said, life takes exam first then teaches the lesson. same way, you learnt a lesson from the exam of the life. Going forward, don't sit back and cry for what has gone wrong. But infect see though things have gone wrong but what I have learnt from it. This attitude will help you in long run and will always help you to look for positive in the lack of negatives.

When person changes, it pinches because we have invested too much hope in that person. But if someone changes, you should not. Like its said, my duty is to love, even if opposite person doesn't love me its ok. I should be grateful to life that it has taught me to love someone and feel the special feeling. and then make it forward and think in tomorrow's way. Don't sit back and see what went wrong. Look ahead and try for better tomorrow. People will hurt us now and then but we should not stop loving. We should not stop caring because that's the way we are. And we should spread this goodness in all direction, at least one day everything will be fine though we may not be here to see it but our efforts will make things better for generations coming. So keep doing good work and keep spreading love, care and affection. Just be your self and take care because you deserve the best of life that can offer.